The episode opens with an establishing shot of the Heeler house. It's a sunny day. Lively music is playing
Chilli: (offscreen) Whoo! Yeah!
The scene cuts to the kitchen. Bluey is dancing. Chilli is buttering toast, and Bingo is rummaging in the silverware drawer.
Chilli: Shake it, Bluey.
The song enters a quiet and slow section. Bluey stops dancing.
Chilli: Oh, why did you stop?
Bluey: I don't like this part of the song.
Chilli: You gotta take the good with the bad, kid.
Bingo pulls a fork out of the silverware drawer.
Bluey, Bingo: Huh?
Bingo: Why are there forks in the spoon bit?
Chilli: The same reason all the cupboards are left open...
Chilli closes a cupboard.
Chilli: ... there's an apron in the sink...
Chilli pulls an apron out of the sink basin and drapes it over the side.
Chilli: ... and the fridge door's never shut - your dad.
Chilli rolls her eyes. She places a couple of sardines on the toast.
Bluey: Does that mean you don't like Dad?
Chilli: What?
Bluey: Well, you're saying that because the cupboard doors--
Bandit enters the kitchen, playing air guitar while crouching and hopping on one leg -- he is imitating Chuck Berry's signature duck walk[1].
Bandit: How's it going, single ladies?
Bluey and Bingo hug Bandit.
Bluey and Bingo: Hey, Dad!
Bandit: Oh. Hey, morning, kids.
Chilli: How was your run, sweetheart?
Chilli walks up to kiss Bandit. They both pucker up, but Bluey and Bingo push Chilli back.
Bluey and Bingo: Uh-uh! (giggle)
Bandit: What?
Chilli: What?
Bluey: He's not yours anymore. He's ours.
Bingo: Yeah. He belongs to us.
Chilli: But I want a smoochy kiss.
Bluey and Bingo spread their arms, forming a wall to protect Bandit from Chilli.
Bluey: No! You can't have him!
Chilli: What? Why not?
Bluey: You said you don't like him 'cause he leaves the cupboard doors open.
Bandit: What?!
Chilli: I never!
Chilli lunges forward, grabbing Bandit's arm and dragging him forward.
Chilli: Come here. Give me a smoochy--
Bluey grabs Bandit's other arm, and Bingo grabs his tail. They pull in the opposite direction. Bandit is tugged back and forth in a tug of war.
Chilli: Oh!
Bluey and Bingo: No! He's ours.
Bingo loses her grip and grabs Bandit's arm instead.
Chilli: He's mine!
Bingo: Get away!
Bandit: (chuckling) Ladies, ladies, there's plenty to go round.
Bluey: Bingo, eggbeater!
Bingo: Ooh, yeah!
Bingo grabs an eggbeater out of the cabinet behind her, then ducks under Bandit's legs. She pops up between Chilli and Bandit, causing Chilli to let go of Bandit's arm.
Bingo: Eggbeater!
Chilli: Whoa!
Bingo turns the eggbeater while advancing on Chilli, who backs away.
Bingo: Beat, beat, beat!
Chilli: (amused) Bingo!
Chilli grabs a wooden spoon from the counter, and brandishes it like a sword.
Chilli: Boom!
Chilli thrusts the spoon into the eggbeater whisks.
Chilli: Yah! Yah! Yah!
The spoon wedges in between the whisks, disabling the eggbeater. Chilli drops the spoon.
Bingo: Yah!
Bingo retreats to try to dislodge the spoon. Bluey charges in with a whisk.
Bluey: Whisk attack!
Bluey wields the whisk like a sword, tickling Chilli's ribs.
Bluey: Whisky, whisky, whisky!
Chilli: (laughs)
Chilli grabs a saucepan lid off the counter, and holds it like a shield
Chilli: Saucepan shield!
Chilli lunges forward with the shield, which Bluey whacks with the whisk. Bluey is driven backward.
Bluey: Bingo, get Dad out of here!
The shot pulls back. Bandit is standing at the fridge with the door open, eating a drumstick.
Bingo: Okay.
Bingo drops the eggbeater, and runs over to Bandit.
Bingo: Come here, you.
Bingo starts shoving Bandit. He doesn't budge.
Bandit: Uh, yep.
Bandit puts the rest of the drumstick back, and allows Bingo to shove him out of the room.
Bandit: Okay. Very good.
Bluey fights harder, pushing Chilli back a few steps.
Bluey: Dad is ours forever now!
Chilli, who was already crouching, falls on her bum and laughs.
Bluey: Yah!
Bluey chucks a Big Peanut tea towel over Chilli's face to blind her.
Chilli: Oop! (chuckles)
Bluey runs out of the room, yelling.
Bluey: Whooooo!
Chilli takes off the tea towel.
Chilli: Well, good luck with that.
The open fridge beeps.
TITLE CARD - Smoochy Kiss
Bluey: [voiceover] This episode of Bluey is called Smoochy Kiss.
The scene cuts to the yellow living room. Bingo is walking backwards wiht her arms spread, herding Bandit into the room.
Bingo: This way. This way.
When Bandit is in the middle of the room, Bingo allows him to stop, and grabs a cylindrical pillow from the couch, holding it over her shoulder in a vaguely military manner. Bluey runs in.
Bluey: Keep an eye out for Mum, Bingo.
Bluey grabs her own pillow.
Bandit: She just wants a smoochy kiss.
Bluey: No more smoochy kisses for her.
Bingo: Yeah. You belong to us.
Bandit: Alright. So, am I still married?
Bluey: We'll figure that out later. But now we have to get you somewhere safe.
Bingo: Yeah, come with-- Eww!
Bingo points at Bandit's armpit. Bandit raises his arm to examine his armpit.
Bingo: Your armpit is leaking.
Bluey uses her pillow to raise his other arm.
Bluey: Eww. So is this one.
Bandit: Yeah, I've just been for a run.
Bluey: Okay, well, just keep your arms down, please.
Bandit: Alright.
The scene cuts to the sunroom. Chilli is hiding behind the wicker chair. Bingo enters first, pillow at the ready. Bandit and Bluey enter afterwards.
Bluey: Check for Mum, Bingo. She could be hiding.
Bingo: Okay.
Bingo runs very close to Chilli's hiding place and looks around.
Bingo: Hmm...
She doesn't spot Chilli. Chilli smiles smugly.
Bluey: Ew, Dad! What's that?!
She points at a brown spot on Bandit's torso.
Bandit: Huh? Oh. Looks like gravy.
Bandit wipes it up with a finger, then licks it.
Bluey: Eww!
Bandit: Yep. Gravy.
Bingo: She's not here. I looked everywhere.
Chilli jumps out from behind the chair and tackles Bandit.
Chilli: Yah!
Bingo and Bluey: No!
Chilli: Smoochy kiss!
As Chilli crawls up Bandit's torso to reach his face, Bluey and Bingo squeal and hit her with pillows. They are able to drive her back onto the floor, where she covers her face to guard against futher pillow blows.
Chilli, Bingo, and Bluey: (laugh)
Bluey: Run!
Bluey and Bingo drop their pillows and run for the exit. Bandit sits halfway up.
Bandit: Me as well?
Bluey and Bingo: Yes!
Bandit: Okay.
Bandit gets up and runs after them, panting. When everyone else has gone, Chilli opens her eyes.
Chilli: I just want a smoochy kiss.
The scene cuts to show Bingo, Bluey, and Bandit running down a hallway. There are family photos on the wall - baby Bluey looking at a clover, baby Bingo dozing with Floppy, and a studio photograph of young Rad, Bandit, and Stripe. Bandit stops in front of a door.
Bluey: (giggles) Come on!
Bandit: Hey kids? I actually need the toilet.
Bingo, who kept running, comes back.
Bluey: What?! No way. It's too risky.
Bandit: Oh. Well, your mum lets me go to the toilet.
Bluey rolls her eyes.
Bluey: Okay.
Bingo holds up her hand to stop Bandit. She enters the door first.
The scene changes to the laundry room.
Bingo It's clear.
Bingo opens the door the rest of the way. Bluey and Bandit enter.
Bluey: Okay, do your business, and do it quickly.
Bluey holds open the door to the laundry room bathroom.
Bandit: Yes, boss.
Bandit enters the bathroom.
Bluey: And peeing only.
Bandit: Deal.
Bluey closes the bathroom door, and spreads her arms to block it. Bingo closes the hallway door.
Bluey: I'll stay here. Bingo, you guard outside.
Bingo: Okay.
Bandit: (sighs) Ah, that's it.
The sound of falling water can be heard.
Bluey: Keep your eye out for Mum. She'll do anything for a smoochy kiss.
Bingo opens the hallway door and steps out.
Bandit: (offscreen) Can't say I blame her.
The scene changes to the hallway. Bingo peers around the edge of the door, before stepping out and closing it. She looks from side to side suspiciously.
The scene changes to show Bluey, impatiently guarding the bathroom door. She knocks on the door.
Bluey: Are you almost finished?
Bandit: (offscreen) Almost. Ow! Ooh.
Bluey looks curiously at the door.
Bandit: (offscreen) Oh, duck cake!
Bluey: What happened?
The toilet flushes.
Bandit: Nothing.
Bandit opens the door and exits the bathroom, hopping on one foot.
Bluey: Why are you hopping?
Bandit: I peed on my foot.
Bluey shrieks and flinches back so far she falls over. She crawls away backwards on the floor as Bandit hops forward.
Bluey: Why did you pee on your foot?!
Bandit hops to the sink and leans on it. Bluey gets to her feet but keeps her distance.
Bandit: I wasn't paying attention.
Bluey: Why not?!
Bandit: I was trying to pull a nose hair out.
Bluey: You've got hairs in your nose?! That's disgusting!
Bandit turns on the tap and puts his foot in the sink.
Bandit: Welcome to middle age, kid.
Bluey: (yelling) Argh! What are you doing now?!
Bandit: What's it look like? I'm washing the pee off my foot.
Bluey: (yelling) But that's the laundry tub!
Bandit: So?
Bluey: (yelling) It's not for washing pee off your foot!
Bluey does her best impression of Chilli's disapproving stare.
Bandit: Well, it is now.
Bluey throws her arms up and screams.
Bluey: Ahhhhhh!
The scene changes to Bingo, still guarding the hallway door.
Bingo: Is everything alright in--
Bingo is interrupted by a thump. Bingo looks to her right - it's a large cardboard box, with a red tail sticking out from underneath.
Bingo: Huh? (suspiciously) I don't remember that box being there. (brightly) Oh well. Bluey?
There is another thump. The box is closer.
Bingo: Hey. Did that box move?
The scene changes to the laundry room. Bandit turns off the tap. Bluey is facepalms.
Bluey: (in a normal speaking tone) This is outrageous.
Bandit: Toughen up, kid.
Bandit grabs a shirt and starts drying his foot.
Bluey: (screaming) Aaaaah! That's my shirt!
Bandit: Ah, you hardly wear it.
The scene cuts back to the hallway. Bluey continues screaming through the door.
Bingo: Bluey, are you sure everything's o--
The corner of the box visibly moved into the frame, with another thump. It's now right next to Bingo. Bingo steps away from the door to investigate.
Bingo: This box is definitely getting...
Still under the box, Chilli lunges, tackling Bingo to the ground.
Bingo: (squeals)
Chilli makes munching noises and pantomimes the box chewing on Bingo.
Bingo: (laughing) The box is eating me!
The scene changes back to the laundry room. Bandit finishes drying his foot and tosses the shirt on the edge of the sink.
Bluey: Oh, no! It's Mum! She's here!
Bandit: Alright. Where to, boss?
Bluey: Um, okay... Look. You still belong to us, but you have to promise not to do any more disgusting things.
Bandit: Okay, I promise. No more disgusting things.
Bluey: (satisfied) Good. Let's go.
Bandit: Hang on, one more.
Bandit cocks a leg and grunts.
The scene cuts back to the hallway. Bingo is still giggling and being "eaten" by the box. Bluey bursts out of the bathroom.
Bluey: (retching theatrically) Arghhh!
Bingo: Bluey, what is it?
Bluey falls to her knees, coughing, and tries to crawl before falling on her stomach. Bandit exits the bathroom, holding his nose.
Bluey: Dad did a fluffy!
Bandit waves his hand in front of his face.
Bandit: Ooh. Sure did.
Bingo Ahhh! Let me in the box!
Bingo crawls under the box. A moment later, Chilli throws it off both of them.
Chilli: Aha!
Bandit: Quick, Mum, now's your chance for a smoochy kiss.
Chilli waggles her eyebrows.
Chilli: All right!
Chilli and Bandit pucker up. Bluey throws herself between them.
Bluey: No! Mum, don't go near him.
Chilli: What? Why?
Bluey: It's not safe!
Chilli winces and waves her hand in front of her face.
Chilli: Ugh, Bandit.
Bandit: Hoo, it's travelling.
Bluey and Bingo start herding Chilli down the hall.
Bluey: Come on, we have to get you out of here.
Bandit follows, making kissy faces.
Bandit: (singsong) Smoochy, smoochy, smoochy!
The scene changes to the kitchen. Bingo and Bluey enter, panting, standing protectively on either side of Chilli. They stop in the middle of the kitchen.
Bluey: We have to hide you.
Chilli: Oh, don't be silly.
Bandit enters.
Bandit: Smoochy, smoochy, smoochy.
Bluey and Bingo squeal. Bluey puts herself between Chilli and Bandit, while Bingo grabs a live herb plant. She brandishes it like a weapon. Bandit recoils.
Bingo: Stand back!
Chilli: Watch out, Bandit! She's got basil!
The camera cuts to Bingo's point of view. She's pointing the basil directly at Bandit, who is holding his hands up nonthreateningly.
Bandit: But I want a smoochy kiss.
The camera cuts to Bandit's point of view.
Bluey and Bingo No!
Chilli: Just a small one?
The camera cuts to a high angle shot of the entire kitchen. As Bandit tries to step aside, Bingo keeps the basil pointed at him, and Bluey and Chilli follow. The whole standoff gradually rotates counterclockwise.
Bluey: Mum, I've got news for you: that guy is disgusting!
Bingo thrusts the basil pointedly.
Bingo: Yeah.
Chilli: Oh, what are you talking about?
The standoff has rotated to the point where Chilli is by the fridge. While Bluey talks, she closes the cabinets above and next to the fridge.
Bluey: OK, first, he eats his own gravy stains.
Chilli and Bandit: True.
The standoff has rotated another step. Chilli closes the drawer next to the oven.
Bluey: His armpits are stinky.
Chilli and Bandit: Correct.
The standoff has rotated another step. Chilli closes cabinets by the kitchen sink.
Bluey: His nose is hairy.
Chilli and Bandit: Very hairy.
The standoff has rotated another step. Chilli closes the corner cabinet.
Bluey: He does fluffies.
Chilli and Bandit: Stinky fluffies.
The standoff has rotated another step.
Bluey: And he peed on his own foot.
Chilli: Oh. That's a new one.
Bandit: It's not, actually.
Bluey: He's a grub!
Chilli: Kids, I'm used to all that.
Bluey and Bingo: What?!
Chilli: You gotta take the good with the bad.
Bandit: Yeah, your mum's no bunch of roses either.
Bluey and Bingo relax, but stay in between Bandit and Chilli.
Bandit: You ever smelt her breath in the morning?
Bluey and Bingo: No.
Chilli leans down and breathes in Bluey and Bingo's faces. Their ears pull back and their fur ruffles. Bluey clutcher her nose, and Bingo falls to the floor. Bluey falls a second after. They crawl to Bandit's feet, gagging.
Chilli: And that's before I've had my sardines.
Chilli grabs the sardine toast she prepared earlier, and takes a big bite.
Bluey and Bingo: Eww.
Bandit: And that's just one of the long list of disgusting things that...
Chilli crunches her toast loudly. She stares at him, one eyebrow raised.
Bandit: (sheepishly) ... I will keep to myself.
Bandit walks over and puts his arm on Chilli's shoulder.
Chilli: Kids, if you're gonna belong to someone, you better toughen up.
Bluey and Bingo gag theatrically.
Bluey: You can... (gags) ... keep each other.
Chilli and Bandit: Works for me.
They finally kiss. Bluey and Bingo groan and gag, then run out of the room.
[End credits]
The music during the credits is the episode music. Bluey is replaced with Chilli under the cardboard box. She slowly inches forward as the credits progress.