- The episode opens in the television room in the early morning. Bandit lays on the couch, reading a newspaper with a large photo of a soccer player. Bingo runs up and whispers in his ear.
Bandit "Yeah, right-o."
- He puts away the newspaper and sits up straight. He clears his throat. Bingo wags her tail, looking excited.
Bandit: (sternly) "Bingo, go tidy your room."
Bingo: (sweetly) "Nnnnope!"
Bandit: (sternly) "Bingo, go and eat some vegetables."
Bingo: (sweetly) "Nnnnope!"
Bandit: (pretending to be furious) "THAT'S IT!"
- He snatches up Bingo and lays her across his lap, face down.
Bandit: (angrily) "I'm writing a letter to the government!"
- Bandit begins to poke Bingo's back with his index fingers, as though he was hunt-and-peck typing. Typewriter sound effects accompany each poke. Bingo squirms and giggles.
Bandit: (angrily) "Dear Government, my kids don't do anything I say. Ka-ching!"
- Bandit pretends to slide the carriage back to start a new line.
Bandit: (angrily) "I tell them to clean their room, I tell them to eat their vegetables, to obey the speed limit, but they NEVER LISTEN. Ka-CHING!"
- Bandit pretends to slide the carriage back again.
Bandit: (angrily) "What are YOU going to do about THIS? Ka-ching."
- Bandit pretends to slide the carriage back again.
Bandit: (calmly) "Sincerely, Bandit Heeler."
Bandit: "Okay, that should do it. Now to post this.
- Bandit sets Bingo beside him on the couch. He folds in Bingo's arms and legs.''
Bandit: "Envelope, envelope."
- Bandit pretends to lick all the way up Bingo's back.
Bandit: "Lllllllllick!"
- Bingo sticks out her tongue.
Bingo: "Bleh!"
- Bandit sets Bingo down on the couch again.
Bandit: "Put a stamp on it..."
- He pretends to lick the palm of his hand.
Bandit: "...and stamp!"
- He whacks Bingo's back with his open hand.
Bandit: "Now, to post it."
- Bandit grunts as he pushes Bingo over the arm of the couch. He dusts his hands as she scurries off behind the couch.
Bandit: "Now, we wait for the reply. Ahhh."
- Bandit pretends to check his watch. Bingo stands by the other arm of the couch. She puts her hands up.
Bingo: "Ding!"
Bandit: "Ah, the mail's here. It's from the government. Hup!"
- He picks Bingo up by her hands and pulls her onto his lap.
Bandit: "Just open the letter up!"
- Bandit turns Bingo upside-down.
Bandit: "Dear Mr Heeler, your kids' behaviour is not our responsibility, it's yours. Please enjoy these dump vouchers. Sincerely, The Government."
Bandit: (angrily) "WWWHAT?! That's it, I'm gonna write ANOTHER letter to the government!"
- He lays Bingo back down on his lap and resumes "typing."
Bandit: (angrily) "Dear GOVERNMENT! If you want my vote this year, you better buck up your ideas. KA-CHING!"
- He pretends to return the carriage.
Bandit: (angrily) "I pay my taxes, so you have to sort my naughty kids out."
Bandit: (growling) "Bandit Heeler."
Bandit: "Envelope."
- Bingo folds up her arms and legs.
Bandit: "Llllick!"
- Bandit pretends to lick her back.
Bandit: "Stamp!"
- Bandit presses his palm to her back.
Bandit: "Post!"
- He pushes Bingo over the arm of the couch, then folds his arms to wait angrily. Bingo scampers around to the other arm of the couch and puts her arms up.
Bingo: "Ding!"
Bandit: "Ah, they replied."
- He picks up Bingo and sets her on his lap.
Bandit: "This better be good."
- He turns Bingo upside down and pretends to read her.
Bandit: "Dear Mr Heeler, your taxes go towards roads, and hospitals, and army stuff. Not making your kids listen to you. We're sorry if we've lost your vote, but to be honest you sound like a pain in the bum, and we don't want it anyway. Maybe vote for the other dudes. Please enjoy this fridge calendar. Sincerely, The Government."
- Bandit stands up.
Bandit: "WHAT?!"
- He rolls Bingo into a ball and throws her on the couch.
Bandit: (angrily) "Oh, this country's stuffed!"
- Bandit storms out - and Bingo giggles one last time.
Bingo: "Again!"